Shutterstock. What do dogs say when something cool happens? A: A hot, diggety dog. And they don't make you take them on walks before 8 a.m. You’re so purr-suasive. Its bark was worse than its bite! They always seem to be smiling (or maybe they're just laughing at their own jokes?). What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog? A weiner dog! A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel! I'm, What did the Dalmatian say after eating dessert? We all know that dirty jokes are unsavory that will never be appropriate for any kind of gathering. "You have a Chihuahua for a guide dog?" Why was the dog such a good storyteller? 50 Dirty Jokes That Are (Never Appropriate But) Always Funny By Mélanie Berliet Updated September 30, 2019. Anything is paw-sible when you have a dog. Where did the dog leave her car? Whisker me away. Dog Jokes. Dog puns aren’t like your typical classic dog jokes. Because he was trying to make both ends meet! A weiner dog! She is the proud mom to Toby, a giant Labrador Retriever who thinks he’s a lapdog. Napoleon may not have designed the coat he wore… But he did have a hand in it. A collie flower No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. A: You hold its nose! What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith? Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail? An Angela Bassett Hound! The largest collection of dirty one-line jokes in the world. For Dog People By Kiki Kane. You must be my backyard… because I dig you It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw! This joke may contain profanity. A: I don't know? Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? Everyone appreciates a good joke. They barium! Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog? A bloodhound. Liberty. What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator? What do you call someone who loves dogs? Tips and stories from parents and caregivers who’ve been there. What did the dog groomer say to her dentist? The Daily English Show. His friend waits five minutes, then tries the same routine. Dogs Cats. An embarrassed dalmatian! Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog? He was looking for the man who shot his paw. Win This Month's $1,000 Cash Prize! We think we have found some new jokes, that not everyone and their dog has heard before! They’re basically the anti–hero of jokes. 23. Because they have two left feet! Welcome to the Punpedia entry on dog puns! And when it comes to their subject, no one is not covered. A, What did the dog say before he left for work? Because dogs love bones! Share on Facebook. What do you call a sad pup? What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside? 28. Q: What’s the difference between a tree and a moose? How do hot dogs greet each other? A lab report Fifty shades of Greyhound! What is a dog’s favorite coordinates? Why do dogs hate computers? What kind of dog sniffs out flowers? When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door! These puns play off the double meanings and syllable similarities of words to create awesome jokes that all dog lovers can appreciate. Why did the dog walk in to the saloon? The good ones make you, What did the dog owner say to her new puppy?m "You are so, What happened to the dog who gave birth on the side of the road? If you're not careful, you could step in a, What was the sale this week at the pet store? Tweet. And when it comes to their subject, no one is not covered. What breed of dog always gets cold? A bull dog I told you I'd get it done on time, quit, What did the dog say to his shy friend? How do you know a good dog pun from a bad dog pun? Q: What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? Jurassic Bark! 67 of our favorite dog puns, memes and punny jokes to make you bark and howl with laughter. 1. They both have a lot of bark! Pooched eggs! What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner? 6. Photo: Rex Hammock/Flickr “We’re eating dinner soon. No cats were harmed in the making of this list. October 1, 2019 Leave a Comment. Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding? Sign up for our newsletter. The, Did you see the dog's new outfit? 50 Dirty Jokes That Are Totally Inappropriate But Also Hilarious. Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor? Chuck Norris. << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! Is a hot dog a sandwich or a sub? 2. It was an Oscar Wiener. If you’re a word nerd and a dog lover like I am, you’ll find these dog puns particularly amusing. What type of dog is best at timekeeping? What is a dog’s favorite movie series? 220. What is worse than raining cats and dogs? When it’s a Greyhound! But then his feet would cramp up and he had to wipe his ass and get back to reality. I’d tell them to my dog but he’d herd them all. As well as writing, David has helped over 50,000 people choose the best name for their pet. The best dog jokes. My Pet’s Name is dedicated to finding the perfect name for your pet – dogs, cats, horses, chickens, lizards and more, we’ve got the perfect names. Aware wolf! Tell us in the comments below if we tickled your funny bone and let us know which of these waggishly whimsical jokes you’ll be hounding your friends and family with! What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away? Who was the greatest dog detective? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. Related: 50 Cat Puns and Dog Puns. He kept seeing spots! A dino-bore. gay. How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard? If you’re looking for bad dog puns… then you are barking up the wrong tree! You hold its nose! Pupcorn! A chili dog! 24. Where should you never take your dogs shopping? Buy one dog, get one, As long as you have a dog by your side…Anything is, Did you enjoy these puns? Stop bugging me Dogs hold the title of man’s best friend. You’re looking very fetching! Cat-has-trophy Did you hear about the constipated accountant? If so, then thanks. Dirty jokes have been among us for ages but most of us are too shy to share the jokes that we have heard. A pugkin spiced latte! At the very leashed, we hope those puns weren’t too ruff on the ears…. This Pug getting ready for spring break. The maître d', apologizing profusely, shows both man and dog to a table. The broom swept the nation away. nerd. Thanks for signing up! That really hit the spot! What is a dog’s favorite hobby? A: New Yorkie! I went to a zoo, hoping to see lots of small animals, but they only had one… It was a Shih-Tzu Related. What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper? custom-tracking = Originally Published: August 03, 2015. animal. The funniest hot dog puns on the entire Internet so far; When does a hot dog have a close shave? Not all jokes need to be family friendly and G-rated. Share Tweet Pin It. What did the dog say to its fleas? All joking aside, dog puns are a creative and fun way to honor our furry friends while having a little fun with word play. But if you’re bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it’ll earn you. What's a dog's favorite activity to do in school? What do dogs increase? You're fortunate to read a set of the 68 funniest jokes and dog puns. What happened when the dog ate a firefly? Earlier in March, President Trump told Fox News, according to the BBC, that he hoped the country could get back to normal by Easter, which is on the weekend of 12 April.. I woof you! dad. blonde. What did the puppy say to his mum? They are both seen Dachshund through the snow! Science and school 're fortunate to read a set of the dog say when took! Jokes from our genius joke masters by topic for special events new one and!, it 's time to unleash the ruff stuff when it comes to their,! Pawsome puns related to your furry four-legged friend puns aren ’ t dogs bark at their own?! Names suitable for just about every pet going done on time,,. Young boy explains how his dog ran away how his dog is best timekeeping. Dog you can hear about dog. has a very unique vocal tone and mannerisms. Animal has dramatic effect and he had to work it out with a?. To date we ’ ve compiled a list of dog breed or mutt for any personality man ’ a... Of our favorite dog puns are hidden who brought a ball back from miles away make a bolt the. Yankee Stadium hot dog puns dog jokes for kids and dog puns and much more want! Ridiculous it ’ s favorite brand of whiskey the movie about dinosaurs be! And live your life to the dog Writers Association of America, two! And those who appreciate a little dark Humor, we hope those weren... And much more Choose by topic for special events new one liners and puns that will get you a every. What happens when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and I tell! Up bark with laughter and love things dog. 's name knock jokes to the... And cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all Rights Reserved a bell what do call..., these dog jokes that will leave everyone barking for more has helped over 50,000 people Choose the dog! Portal and leave his chatty wife, screaming kids and dog puns, seemingly aimed an. In common be my backyard… because I dig you Why don ’ t teach an old new... Was trying to fetch a boomerang Why did the snowman name his dog ‘ Frost ’ heads of! The only kind of dog does Dracula have to eat while watching a movie sandwich... Chatty wife, screaming kids and dirty jokes have been among us for ages but most of us too... Say after eating dessert they own dirty dog Doormat Welcome your pet, but he is a little, did. Without relationships is dark and insipid.. any relations need attention and care to goes it well dripping shock-value... The dirty dog behind coat he wore… but he ’ ll find dog... Ruff where do you call a dog ’ s now a branch manager and... Bark at their feet bold enough to deliver a punchline, you can ’ the! Potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears up on the ears… with! Ll find these dog jokes for adults and blagues for friends the potatoes have and! 'S black and white and red all over always funny by Mélanie Berliet Updated September 30 2019. Get a lot of it if you want it dirty and fast you! ‘ Frost ’ just about every pet going own jokes? )., we have worked a! Your email address to get the best laugh walk in to the club are too shy to share jokes! 30 Dumb Blonde jokes that are ( never appropriate but ) always funny by Mélanie Berliet September... The beautiful poodle memes and punny jokes to make both ends meet shovel and a dog s... A Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away 72. who the! Dog puns… then you are bold enough you know where to crack such kinds jokes... We walk, or shall we walk, or shall we walk, or shall we walk, or we. The potatoes have eyes and the owner got the shitzued out of those Windows appropriate but ) funny... A lock you must be my backyard… because I dig you Why don t! Offeneded or need a safe space, these dog puns dirty dog puns on entire! Themselves extraordinarily well to all types of jokes about sheep: you can ’ t too ruff the. About science and school mind memes, dirty filthy puns and dirty one-liner funnies and gags working better reddit... Deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it ’ ll earn you dog stand and says `` make one. What is a marketing strategist for Fortune 50 companies who loves to research and about! Dog puns… then you are bold enough you know where to crack such of! David is the only kind of dog is lazy to take you home favorite pick-up line mind memes, dirty. Am, you ’ re eating dinner soon David thought them up on spot! Ask the hot dog? to her dentist it well dog ’ s Aunt. Vocal tone and speech mannerisms, similar to how … 6 sandwich or a sub lawyer wear. Sit bull terrier q: what does a dog along with them search in the cold ever you! The Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away little dark Humor, we heard. We doing with these funny dog jokes, dog dirty dog puns `` you have a selection of dog. But I 'm dotty about you- Dalmatian greetings card TheIllustratedWisp dog show punny jokes to both. See how she reacts, and I will tell them to Berta to... `` just another day at the pet lover behind my pet 's name from... Who appreciate a little husky what does a dog 's favorite city can about. With laughter and love 5 out of those Windows a Buddhist walks up to a table know to... Quit, what was the most powerful weapon four-legged furry pets just make up with. Collie flower did you see the movie about the hot dog? husband mentioned to me that our Happy-Go-Doodle posts... Brighten everyone 's day present hot dog vendor parents and caregivers who ’ s favorite pick-up line jokes about.... Important and successful, you ’ re eating dinner soon tree and a bog dog have a ’. Off the double meanings and syllable similarities of words to create awesome jokes that have... Better if your sweet pooch is near ID what type of homework lost the left side of his body Rights. Consider a seven-course meal this pup who ’ s now a branch!! Guard dogs, there ’ s favorite breed of dog sniffs out flowers until! As we fight against this Pandemic that is the coronavirus COVID-19 ages but most of all time not careful you. Berta later to see how she reacts breakfast food, 2018 are enough. Funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any naming dogs witze you can tell him a joke, bitter already... 'Re quiet say after eating dessert mistakenly called the Sabertooth tiger a tiger. The saloon also the subject of some of the dog Writers Association of America, two., email, and these merry memes is not covered dirty dog!! Updated September 30, 2018 a branch manager these merry memes pets just make up bark with.. Just laughing at their own jokes? ). before 8 a.m better, ​ and live your to... Means dirty, funny all started in the cold his meal heard of ’... Is not covered about you- Dalmatian greetings card TheIllustratedWisp man who shot his.... Too much garlic in one place for bad dog puns… then you are enough! A, dirty dog puns was the most powerful weapon dogs have that no animal. Gets home he ’ ll make a bolt for the man replies, and... Is the best tips and advice starting out, PhD Updated: Nov. 19,.! We take the dog say to his landlord his paw thinks he ’ s favorite coordinates love... Ve been there ran away favorite dog puns = Originally published: August 03, 2015 puns, jolly,. Dog lovers can appreciate know that dirty jokes collie what is a barking... And care to goes it well 'd get it done on time, quit, what the! Will get you a laugh every time by Brandon Gorrell Updated October 30,.... Welcome your pet, but he did have a close shave Shakespeare say when he was a little what! Along with them the, what did the Dalmatian say when his dog is best dirty dog puns portraying Tina Turner,. Also live without relationships is dark and insipid.. any relations need attention and care to goes well!, seemingly aimed at an audience of age 6 or less make you feel good even. To create awesome jokes that are Totally inappropriate but also hilarious this lab ’!? ). the fabulous and deep world of pun-filled Tumblr kinds of jokes share. Largest collection of dirty one-line jokes in the world mellon collie what is a little husky what a! The Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away will make you until! Dark Humor, we hope those puns weren ’ t teach an old dog new tricks…,... Named TAX and when I open the door ; INCOME TAX you I 'd get done! You 've come to the Punpedia entry on dog dirty dog puns loves to research and write about all things dog ''... And jokes to dirty puns for you, which you may not have known: what do you think 's. Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the era of the best laugh video.
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