NOW, I am convinced hes crazy as hell and am done thinking that last woman will be the last time he sins against me. We all make mistakes Lord knows my son’s father was married and I did not know it until my son was one or two. When a married man says i love you, is one of the signs a man is in love with his mistress. I´ve cheated and I´ve been cheated on, but I always refused to be a mistress. In some instances, they’re referred to as girlfriends. So now Im going on 7 month with being with him and starting to question if im more in the relationship then him….. Anyway, why is it that most of the wives do not hold the husband as the sole responsible adulterer? If you have not read my single mother story on this blog I found out my child’s father was still married when my son was one year old. The man is getting two women, the wife is getting her hurt broken. I have been in an uncommon situation, I’ve always judged women who get themselves tied up in situations like this, I mean getting into relationships with married men, I met this man a year ago, it was very basic and just bare conversation as I knew he was married, the mistake I made was continuing to talk to him even when I realized I might have caught feelings for him, he’s a good man and never downplayed his marriage, I know he loves his wife and has never said otherwise, he treats her with respect I.e steps out to speak to her on the phone when we’re together and never talks about or talk down on her, I’m in love with him, heck we both are in love with each other, we’ve connected on a very deep level, he cares deeply for me, in the way he treats me, cares for me and helps me to figure out a future plan on terms of my career, his wife just found out about us, he told me about it, being a good man, and I say a good man because cheating doesn’t make him the worse man in the world cause no one is perfect, for every question she asked he was honest but didn’t disclose my information, he told me he wouldn’t speak to me for a while, now I want to end this because I love him and do not want him to go though anymore conflict in his marriage, I feel like a total bad and selfish person, cause amidst all of these, I wish things could get back to normal, he says he won’t call me for a while, what do I do when he calls back, I can’t end this, and even if I end the romantic relationship, I never want to lose him as a friend, we certainly feel like soulmates and soulmates don’t only have sexual relationships, how do I handle this? (see my blog here to know the difference). Some people are more compatible that’s all. A little item that you mentioned a while back A man who respects you won’t embarrass you. Real love is about fully immersing your life with another person. How many times have we heard […], Hearing the words “I don’t want to get married it is not normally something that you will hear coming out of a woman’s mouth. From there just pay attention to his behavior when dating you. If he starts moving money, dismissing your feelings, blatantly bringing his mistress and introducing her to family, your marriage is about to be over. Oh, adults are so complicated. Now, if I ask a battered housewife, why she stays with a husband that beats her. But I PROMISE you I have been in same situation as you. I enjoy your company He said the following over the course of several appointments: I’m so proud of you If he really loves you, would As some women but I’m sticking to the topic. He seems more carefree or optimistic. I enjoy him at his best. She may say because I love him and he loves me. All of this is not true. Sophie, you are belittling the mistress. slam dunk of his finer feelings for you, however. She constantly compares herself (lying to herself) that she’s “better” when in actuality she is no comparison. I'm trying to figure out if my married doctor was hitting on me. The thing is how do you compare the newness and illusion of an affair with a long term relationship. don’t bother to take their ring off so it is pretty symbolic if he then decides This is an intriguing topic and you have many great points not to mention an outstanding writer. I myself have been on both sides. But God is never going to give you someone else’s husband. He even took off his wedding ring once and switched it to the opposite hand and back while we were talking. The best of luck to you and your situation. Surprisingly, after I shared my feelings with him and presented him with the legal papers to intiate legal separation and eventually our divorce proceedings, he has now burrowed his feet in the ground and refuses to sign anything. Only you can determine why. I just want him to accept my decision to move on. She does not have to worry about how the house is going to get paid off or making funeral arrangements if he dies. Running down his marriage is one way to explain his actions and hopefully gain your respect. Other men and women sometimes!? So when a married man has an affair with a woman, is it more like lust? Some wives don’t care. We enjoy one another on many levels but his family will always be number one. Religion clouds and pollutes everything and is beside the point. what if? I’m trying to stay strong and resist. If he has real interest in you his actions will show it. The irony of that huh. If he is willing to expand your role beyond the and move someone else in or he could keep it for one of his children for later It’s not fair if he gets away with all this, then suddenly kicks you to the curb. He also told me that he got married more due to everyone asking him when he was going to purpose since there is now a baby coming into this world, he said then he felt obligated to proceed in the marriage instead of standing up for him self. Husbands will continue to cheat and do this because you LET HIM do it! I think men tend to stay level headed and women become very emotional causing them to make unwise choices. ring is absent. Then get Your 5 Step Plan To Getting Over a Married Man. And an affair is not that. So The guy had the best of both worlds. Missing I was under the impression he wanted to be a “free man” and enjoy his life without us family folks “ruining” it for him. After communication, do what it takes to win your husband back, even if it involves using the children. This is an interesting read .. I think there are so many different kinds of love or like and I think that the love we feel for every individual person is different. I would have an honest conversation with him. Jesus is the reason Im still here, still strong, still sane, still intact and Hes also the reason I have my financial exit available now, however, I am not doing the 70×7 thing. The last time I went he was cold and distant. I would NOT under any circumstances sleep with him. Im upset he refuses to leave in peace. I’ll tell you something, as the mistress I got more time than the wife and more privileges. You said a mouthful. Your assuming she is less valuable. If you want to talk about contracts, loyalty, promises, and so on, then I think that’s valid, but professional relationship counselors should not bring god into the equation unless they are ecclesiastical leaders. Also, remember God will exalt the humble and humble the exalted (Mathew 23:12). Love makes people have tunnel vision.. He came straight to me after work and only left to go to sleep, this included holidays. The punishment was “death” in some cases of adultery. Looks like Im in for the fight of my life. good read! There is never a good reason to cheat, nor should it ever be justified. The man goes homes to his wife and his kids and what does the woman go home to….herself. What world is this where we just want to share men with other women. They often shower these women with gifts to keep her happy and give her more attention than he does his wife. My first marriage ended due to my husband being unfaithful. If you do this to someone’s marriage you are opening up doors for the same thing to happen to you when you are married. Even if by chance a married man does leave his wife for you, as a mistress then what is keeping him from doing it again with you when the next hot thing comes around? (15 Climax Ways), How To Deal With A Negative Spouse (11 Positive Things), What To Do When Your Man Can't Get It Up (9 Things You Should Do), My Husband Uses Me Financially (13 Alarming Signs), he still loves his wife and you are just a dalliance, But if he is falling in love with you then your approval, 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You, I Cheated On My Boyfriend But Still Love Him (What Should I Do? They set their boundaries and that’s it. While right and wrong is black and white I don’t like to generalize in situations like this cause from the outside looking in you may not know the exact specifics behind the marriage or the affair… what if they stayed together for kids or because of illness…etc. Just there for material things bc he clearly doesn’t love her. The wife made an unexpected flight down from MD to AZ about 3 months in and found the txt messages of him having an affair at the end of all the fighting he sent her and the new born baby back to maryland due to the pain that was caused and had me come move in with him I stayed with him for about 3 month till then the wife said she was struggling and wanted to come back. If you’re tired of the drama, pain and frustration, get help right now with one of my top-selling online programs, such as Overcoming Infidelity // For Betrayed Spouses. thrown him out – he may not necessarily confess to this right away. So many women need to hear it. I am not crying, I am not jealous of his wife, I am not deceiving him because we both know it is not love just lust and a damn good time. He doesn’t want to appear the scoundrel in this situation as he really wants you to think well of him and approve. He told me that he wants me to wait for him and to stay his girlfriend at the same time. What I am telling you is that he has a character flaw. For a start, if you are Is it be too much to consider an unhappy marriage kept together for what could be 1000 different reasons. you. Sometimes he opens up about he’s tired of his wife & he want to leave her. Sometimes, Let’s say that you do want to get married in the future, and your husband did this to you (which I do not wish for) but let’s just say. This is an interesting story. It should give you more clarity regarding your position in the relationship. I agree that love is unselfish, but not everyone wants the same things out of life or a relationship. He has no good reason or right to cheat, but he did. To each her/his own, but please, please just get off that high horse. Stuck in a situationship with a married man? This might He still had to choose to say I do. We know what we want, and we know how to get it. We felt stuck in marriages due to owning businesses and scared of what we would lose. Idk . Do you think that you feel that your husband was a good man, that you would understand and allow your husband to be friends with this woman? I hope you really get my drift here. A man in love would not be in a affair situation, he will walk away. She is in a relationship with someone that is not really in a relationship with her. Love is unconditional. Labeled a whore and slut, a bad mother, all kinds of demoralizing crap thrown my way. Mistresses are women in the lives of married men, and they're women these men are physically and sexually attracted to. And if you are happy then your own standards is the only thing you have to judge yourself by. My saying is that God is NEVER going to give you someone else’s husband (click my blog here to read more on this topic). He says he hasn’t felt this good or this young in years. But I tell him that she needs him. I am 33 , my wife is 30 and my girlfriend is 25. significant. You will have your heart ripped out. As the other woman to a married man ( I too am married) I can say that many factors are at play. In this aspect he must not love the wife or the mistress. become more relaxed about being found out which can be a sign that his Also, how does he know he made the right choice? And being the other woman, you are not getting that. You call that being selfish, I call that being diligent. How To Tell If A Married Man Is In Love With You (8 Undeniable Signs). Unless he is a serial cheater or narcissistic ass hat. One thing that many mistresses crave more than anything is validation that her relationship with her lover is real. I am sorry that happened to you. and only the very skilled will get away with a plausible excuse. As per his wishes, I was a stay-at-home mom for years with our 2 kids. I told her about us and the hooker. As a married person you may find someone else attractive but that does not mean that you have to act on it and sleep with them or even leave your family. So stick to single guys and have your boyfriend adore you. I was the one “ruining his life and his happiness”. Have a candid conversation with your husband about his mistress, and gather support from family and friends. I texted her my friends met her at a motel. I am sure that there are people out there leaving their relationships for other people (I know some myself, been one ) and that is a good idea in the end. If you an issue with being Christian perhaps it is best that you visit one that is not faith-based as I am sure you will find one that aligns more with your personal beliefs. And this man never loved his wife. Sarah D, Please don’t feel sorry for me. Sure I tried to leave him numerous times. BUT I think you are wrong on so many levels. If you are just a casual fling to him then he really won’t care two hoots about your opinion of him. I love being a mistress - married men make much better lovers than single men. If so, there is nothing you can do about that. I don’t have to hear his complaints, wash his clothes, cook for him, run his errands, watch the budget, etc. Go be with a man that is free to with you. The concept of love is complicated as there are a different types of love: you love your partner, your parents, kids and certain food etc. Also, this all assumes that a married relationship NEVER changes and that people and their needs never change. So, be careful what you wish for. We all seek different things from a life partner, so we can’t argue what love is. Let’s be real. The odds the wife won’t find out is very slim, and then he is more likely to chose her than you. 'My husband spends more time with his mistress and their kid than with me' Posted on 12 July 2017 | 19,134 views | 6 comments . When you find it, run with it and be prepared for ANY outcome. So how can a married man love his mistress, when she is only there for the good and when the man wants to have a good time and that just called lust. He refuses to LEAVE. So see, I want him home with you. I am not doing the 70×7 forgiveness times thing with Jesus, whom I love and serve wholeheartedly. If I wanted love at this point I would find a msn to give me that. I do not know if you believe in God. Marple is a sure sign that he has serious designs on you. Can someone please offer me advice about my situation (above)? don’t wear wedding rings but those that do will often choose to remove it Some men So assuming someone stays because they love their spouse is false. I was the one “using him for his money and hurting a GOOD MAN”. It does happen. Or bc the lady got pregnant. Keep religion out of it. So a true act of love would be to allow the mistress to go on and find a man that she can call her own and marry. I would like a word of advise dearly. be thinking of you and putting you first. My friend had such low self worth and I finally convinced her through many years of just accepting her for who she was that she deserved so much more than crumbs. marriage then he is probably seeking to justify to himself what he is And if he plans to marry again in the future. He calls and texts me, plays UNO and board games with me, asks what movie we are watching every evening he comes home. I have been completely showered with gifts and money and sweets. guilty and he doesn’t want that poignant reminder of her when he is with Eventually though, he got back with his wife. Everything was real life and real struggles when they arose. Credit: Pixabay. Unfortunately with this attribute, men can utilize this side to a woman’s determent. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. In March I told him to leave me alone for good. This can be wholly subconscious but is He would tell me how much he misses me and how stressful his life has been. Apparently, I did not realize how prevalent of a phenomenon this was. If he truly loves her, he would leave his family. Than last year he tells me his coworker or two coworkers messaged his wife claiming harmless flirting that happened before he and I got together. You can go on to enjoy a happier, more mature and more stable marriage. Find your own husband!! It is jewellery, flowers, chocolates and lingerie. But you have to let go of what he does not want for you first. I know that is what he says, but is that what he is showing you? You are far less likely to shop elsewhere if So before you get too tied up in becoming his mistress, here are five truths you should know about being in love with a married man: 1. Remember, a married man can say anything that he wants about his wife when he is going to another woman. Is this You all must not be in touch with reality! But For Men, for women they love they protect, provide (money), and profess (letting the world, know by giving them a title like a wife and introducing them to their family). While it is wrong the heart falls in love with who it wants to fall in love with. I travel, have friends and family, enjoy being with myself and just living life. Just Say “NO” To Cheating! At the end of the day, if he knows that he is not going to have sex with you (because you told him that) and he still wants a real relationship with you; you can date but only after the divorce is finalized. Lack of communication expectations, childhood influences etc…. though this might be, if you have any say in the matter, perhaps best to So in my opinion, staying with a married man that you know who cheats doesn’t make you any better then the mistress. Also, consider checking out my video below on how messing with a married man can bring bad karma in your life. 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