She was willing to marry him before this, using that as a plea for him not to force her to have sex, but he wouldn’t listen. 8 John T. Catoir, J.C.D., "Understanding Annulments," But if one partner seriously violates the marriage contract, as by physical/emotional/sexual May God bless you. Plus, there are many instances, especially in the time of the Exodus, that the Israelites sinned by going to the heathen peoples near them, and having heathen religious festivals, which included sexual activity. In this case, it seems as if the couple wants to have the benefits of both marriage and single-hood, as it fits them, rather than having to choose one or the other (“to eat my cake, and have it, too”). Plus, it’s cheaper to maintain a rental than to maintain your own house, so if they can’t afford school/taxes, they can’t afford to buy a house, and that will be a heavy burden on them, rather than a blessing.) Reconciliation is preferable, but if that is not possible, different church denominations Anyone contemplating divorce or remarriage should find out the policies Is it a sin for a man and woman be intimate without getting married? Wow. (NIV, Ephesians 5:33), If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate “ Even if they did have a ceremony, most marriages including ones in the new and old testament times were prearranged for other reasons than love. It reads, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Does the Bible say you have to have kids. I told her I would try to find scripture to back it up, but had trouble on my own. We are assuming that you are a true Christian and follow the Bible and seek God’s wisdom in everything. There is no confusion in your explanation. However, God knows what is best for us. not let them drift toward divorce. I hope to hear you preach in person someday! Without going through whatever steps the society dictated, the couple were not considered married, and so it is today. (TNIV, Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for true Christian love guide our actions. However, the Bible actually does take a different view. Your source of content is very clear. Everyone encourages me to marry, but I’m a virgin at 38. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”. I Remarried After Divorce. I do have one additional question I’d like your insight on. Marital sex is to be mutual and frequent so that husband and wife are not tempted to commit adultery (1 Corinthians 7:5). Jesus' apostles were likely When you are doing your Bible study, look up the term “fornication” and other similar terms (fornicators, fornicating, etc. So does the Bible have anything to "say" about gay marriage? You would be great at it!!!! It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily As an aside, I would also give you this unasked-for advice: if they were in such a difficult financial situation that they feel at least somewhat justified in maintaining a legal divorce just for the reduction in tuition and taxes, what on earth are they doing trying to **buy a house**?!? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of a harlot? of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility When we engage in sex, we “become one” with that other person. If you wish, you may give examples of the “many blessed ones” who had sex before they were married — and please also give the good outcomes that came as a result. It is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, What a lot of people don’t realize is that sex is not just something that is to be done casually for temporary pleasure. Hi Kathy, can you give me your impute according to what the scriptures states? All that belong in there is you, your spouse and jesus. Also, the ceremony may be different, but marriage in the Bible seems to be not just a commitment of the couple to each other for life, but also whatever form or ceremony was common in the culture of the time, so that the society in which the couple lived would recognize them as married. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. Here’s the way I look at it. You have a wonderful way with words. Some Christians feel they should live according to Most Relevant Verses. Does the Bible Say a Wife Has to Obey Except for the preference to marry another Christian, we are free But I do know that each one of us deals with our own individual struggles, challenges, temptations, etc. Since the law allows people, or gives them the freedom to shack up, then it wouldn’t matter if you don’t have a license. You can ask him, after they move in together, is he going to introduce her to others as his wife or as his girlfriend, and why? If god has a law in the bible, we can probably think about it and figure out why it makes sense, or made sense at the time, and whether it still does. You should be able to find one for free in your local library (or perhaps through inter-library loan), or buy a used copy for cheap in a thrift store, used book store, or through Amazon. should I go back to my first spouse? Those are pretty strong indications that “you must be married to have sex.”, Kathy, I have very much appreciated your comments. some people listen … and some don’t …. Because the sexual drive is so powerful, the Bible encourages marriage in order to avoid sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 7:1–2). the adversarial nature and fault-finding that are often part of our current For two, saith he, shall be one flesh.”. You have given to a stranger something that is valuable and precious. If the latter, then your son can’t keep up the veneer of it being “married in God’s eyes,” if he’s already contemplating divorcing her; and if the former, then they have a huge problem completely apart from this whole question. If two consenting adult male and female want to have sex without sin they must be married or else it is called fornification. Is it Okay For a Couple to Be Separated If he is doing this because he says, “It’s the same as really being married,” then why not just *really* get married?? free healthcare, SSI, WIC, foodstamps, etc. At the very least, the bride and her parents wanted some recognition that the girl was … We were talking about legalizing the marriage at a later date. if either party has sex with someone else, does the innocent party have any legal recourse in regards to this adultery, or is it “tough luck” to him/her because they weren’t legally married, so the guilty person has done nothing wrong?). I believe I'm going to marry her, but I want to know where in the Bible it says not to have sex before marriage." Those things are prohibited by other Bible For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”, And Romans 13:12b-14, “Let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. The problem is people don’t want to marry quickly enough, leaving huge sexual desire and no outlet for it. responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. (gay marriage)? But it was not this way Proverbs 5:18-19 Maybe the reason a couple that has had a child together can not get married, is that if the man is working but maybe only makes $20,000 a year, the woman would lose her benefits,i.e. Moody Press, 1988. I agree with your sentiment, especially as regards the vows/intent of the couple being the most important thing in making a marriage. Jesus explains in big bold details why you should not judge, and that is why; peoples backround are so diferent then yours. Did you know 35% of the population was, at one point, sexualy molested and in many cases they dont even know. They still have a sexual relationship, are devoted to one another, but do not want to get legally married again because of the tax reasons mentioned above, specifically, something about her college fees? Children are a blessing from the Lord according to the Bible (Psalm 127:3-5). of his or her own church. Is it possible for your girlfriend to get her GED? in the other comments) have tried to say that their cohabitation was equivalent to marriage, even though they were not legally married. teaches strongly that marriage should be a lifelong commitment. Kathy, my son who is a truly wonderful young man is getting ready to move in with his girlfriend who is also a lovely young lady. You have answered my question extremely well! Fornication does mean NO SEX before marriage. I can see some libertarian-minded folks (and a few similar types of people) refuse just to be contrary and/or to invoke the name of liberty, but most of the time, I think people would refuse/decline to get married officially just to be rebellious against proper authority (which is not Christian), or because they want the benefits of marriage (for example, a man wanting a woman around for easy and convenient sex, to fix meals, and/or to take care of his housekeeping) without the strictures of marriage (wife is legally entitled to half his property, or having sex with another person is adultery, etc.). If a man and woman are considered married if they have sex once, what then is “fornication”? What level of commitment would it signify if they “commit” to living together but refuse to “commit” to being legally married? There is nothing that states that married couples must have children. So they are no longer two, but one. Does the Bible say you cannot receive Communion in Is it possible for you to move to a place where there is more job opportunity (for you and for her)? I refuse to “wait” any longer. They were indeed wrong about many things, but it would be impossible for them to be wrong in this word usage. The ten commandments say not to commit adultery – which is having sex with another man’s wife. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. So, in short, yes, I agree with you that the main concern is the vows and intent of the couple; but marriages in the Bible (with or without an official ceremony — Isaac’s and Jacob’s “weddings” are two good examples of these different courses) are also recognized by society at large, and in our society as in most societies, marriages are only recognized as officially existing if the couple has gone through legal requirements such as a ceremony with someone officiating. Is he right? . I’m having an issue with my fiance right now. Creator 'made them male and female,', 'For I don’t see it anywhere in the bible. The wedding, in whatever form, is a societal solemnization of this union, so that everyone recognizes that the man and woman are married. And the definition of a harlot or a whoremaster is “one who practices habitual, customary, unlawful indulgence of lust, fornication, or adultery.”, 1 Corinthians 6:15-16 reads, “Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? I have seen nothing in the Bible to say that people must get married by ordained clergy, and there are many stories in the Old Testament that attest to people getting married without clergy. We must make an effort each and every day to keep our marriages strong and In Ephesians 5:6, it says, “Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Being in the Bride of Christ is a personal and intimate committment of a person to God. I generally agree with you on point one, though I would be stronger on morality. 5:8). Bible Answer: The best list of marriages that are prohibited by God can be found in the book of Leviticus. He has given us standards to follow because He wants to save us from ourselves and from the pain we can bring to our lives. church and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for Church. My question is why does God allow some people who fornicate or commit adultery to marry and not others, seemingly punishing some people for fornicating or committing adultery? boredom, sexual desires, desire for happiness or other reasons are not Biblical We were originally going to have to wait for marriage for another two years, but I’m taking a year off of college to work, so we both decided to get married next summer. Some point to Genesis 24 and the story of Isaac and Rebekah as an example of a couple being married solely by sexual … , 2011. The laws of god cannot be broken by anyone. officials. The law does not violate one of God’s commandments, so you flout it at your peril. But at this point, our laws concerning marriage are not violating the laws of God, so we have no Scriptural authority to throw them off just because we don’t like them. My fiance’s view is that as long as a are committed to each other, and have intentions to make the marriage we want legal. God is the one who created sex. God wants us to stay away from such behavior: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel (body) in sanctification and honor, not in lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which do not know God.”, Ephesians 5:1-3, 5, “Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; and walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”. (NASB) Matthew 5:32 modified The Greek words for “commit adultery” and “commits adultery” come from the root words moicheuo and gameo . Since you obviously have not read much/any of what I and others have said before in the post and ensuing comments, I figure I’m wasting my breath/typing, but I will link to this post which I think sums up the Biblical argument fairly well and succinctly. Maybe nowadays “sleeping around” is no big deal. Although Jesus attended the wedding at Cana ( John 2:1-11) and Jacob had a ceremony when he married Leah ( Genesis 29:21-25 ), the Bible does not say that a social function constitutes marriage. I have always believed and been taught that we have to be have a marriage certificate to prove a couple is married. the custody of minor children and support the consideration of either or both I will ask myself those questions. Possibly, but I wouldn’t bet on it – not if you *can* get married, but just *won’t*. Thank you. If, however, you can have a clean conscience that you are declining to get legally married NOT out of rebellion and NOT because you want to have it both ways (i.e., be “married” when it comes to the benefits of marriage, but still be “single” when it comes to the benefits of being single), AND if you’re living in a culture and country/state that recognizes such situations as marriage, then that would seem to be less of a problem or perhaps no problem at all, Biblically speaking. Does the Bible Say I Cannot Receive So the question is, what’s the difference? marry only other believers (1 Corinthians 7:39, 2 Corinthians 6:14). 4. relationships resulting from the marriage remain, such as the nurture and support Can I Marry Someone of a Different In the gospels, Jesus always takes the Jewish Law one step further – instead of merely prohibiting murder, He says it is wrong to have murderous thoughts or unjustified anger against someone; instead of merely prohibiting physical and actual adultery, He says it is just as bad to commit mental adultery (to lust after a woman). However the different cultures observed or solemnized the union is (I believe) not important; what *is* important is what the wedding symbolizes — the joining of one man to one woman for life, in the eyes of society and in the eyes of the law. You say that you can’t “make the marriage legal due to financial reasons”. What does the Bible say about polygamy - having more And I don’t *know* that you should go tomorrow and get married, and lose all governmental assistance. She, being in the image no male heir, his brother was expected to marry his widow and produce children (Deuteronomy Paul apparently was not married, but Peter was. I have read the Holy Bible from cover to cover more than once and there is no place in it that says you cannot have sex before you get married. Jesus came to teach us to live free and to love and respect our neighbors and god. except your taxes. Though Isaac and Rebekah seemed to have no ceremony other than her entering his tent and them having sex, you can’t just say that “sex = marriage”, otherwise there would be no such thing as fornication, nor would there be any law or penalty in the Jewish Law against sex before marriage, because “sex before marriage” couldn’t exist IF “sex = marriage”. Being in a marriage covenant is likewise a personal committment of two people before/to God. What defines a marriage? 11:6-11) or family visits (Luke 1:39-40, 1:56). (TNIV, 1 Corinthians 13:4–7). Christ . 4 Charles L. Bryner, Jr, MD, "Children of Divorce", This has been an interesting conversation to read. Even if they did have a ceremony, most marriages including ones in the new and old testament times were prearranged for other reasons than love. Later there are passages that say not to commit fornication or sexual immorality – which are sexual acts not condoned by God like homosexuality and beastiality. The purpose served in the marriage ceremony is no longer working. blood, or adoption. Frequent grounds for annulment include "lack of due discretion" However, someone having a tendency to be gay (for ANY reason) does not give that person justification to accept those feelings and decide to live in sin. 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